Archive for August, 2011

First Day of College

I sat in the car feeling a little confident but also a little skeptical. Last week, I was worried about people being terrified of me (in my abaya) but after attending the Orientation, I discovered through my short conversation with a few girls that Muslims are not actually objects of terror. But they may be objects of humor, came the realization today as I was waiting for us to pull out of the driveway. My little brother, Abdullah was coming along with my stepmom to drop me off as the 3rd not-so-important-but-necessary-for-the-HOV person. I was sitting in the backseat, staring at the neighbor’s lawn and said the following du’a: “Ya Allah, please protect me from Fitnah, from prowling strangers, from evil eyes (of men), and from getting lost. Ameen”. I don’t know how I made it up. The words just kinda flew out of my mouth and I ended up adding to them. Abdullah decided to freak me out a little by saying, “Hey didi, do you remember-It’s a Mooz-lum name!” I laughed and told him to be quiet but I was thrown into a state of worry thinking about the stories I heard of abaya-girls getting picked on in college. I was suddenly surrounded by the anxiety that I worked so hard to overcome over the last few weeks. Anyways, we reached the college and I told my stepmom to pick me up around 2:00pm. I exited the car and looked around. On my left was a group of guys chatting and ahead of me were a few students having an intense conversation. As soon as I started walking towards the entrance of the building, they all stared.  They observed my abaya like they had never seen a witch’s robe on Halloween before. I re-assured myself by thinking about Allah and pulled open the heavy door. I was ‘somewhat’ panicking cause I had left my class schedule at home. Luckily, the lady at the information desk was nice enough to give me a catalog and I was able to find my way through.

I went upstairs to my biology class, which was fairly easy to spot and it was already more than half-full. I got my dream spot-first seat in the first row. When the teacher walked in 5 minutes later, I could swear she was just an older student. With her khaki capris and a pink T-shirt, I could never have guessed that she was the teacher. I think that was mainly due to the fact that I always expected college professors to be strict and professional-looking. Oh well, contrary to my presumed notions, anything goes! She apologized for being late and introduced herself. I didn’t notice her slight southern accent until she decided to reveal to us that she is fairly new to VA, after having taught in Oklahoma and Texas for 12 years.

From her intro about herself, her intro to the syllabus, and finally, her lengthy intro to biology itself, I concluded that this woman loves to talk. My goal of choosing as many female professors as possible was going great. She told us that she loves to interact with students and help them out. Can anyone ask for a better professor? Then, in the last 15 minutes that were left of class, she decided to go over the first chapter of our BIO book, which most of us don’t have yet. When she talked, I understood everything, and not just me, the whole class easily picked up on what she was talking about. In her PowerPoint slides, there would occasionally be a question that would pop up, which kinda reminded me of Shaykh Waleed’s  Last Breath class, the only difference being that his questions would come up before the material was covered. Anyhow, it was still helpful. When the teacher started talking about evolution, my ears opened up. In 11th grade, I had done a thorough research paper on Creationism vs. Evolution but the way this lady was explaining it, it made sense. And I’m thinking, no, evolution CANNOT make sense, it’s not supposed to. I gotta read up on Harun Yahya again in order to not get myself caught up in this  very specific biology trap.  Well, I hope the new research helps me understand the fact of the matter better. I write this as I sit here in the library waiting for Math class which begins at 12:30pm. Oh, it’s 12:10-got to go.


August 22, 2011 at 9:48 pm Leave a comment

How to Memorize the Quran | Shaykh Umar Badahdah |

How to Memorize the Quran | Shaykh Umar Badahdah |

August 18, 2011 at 11:17 am Leave a comment

Frustration is kinda over…Resolutions are on their way…

So I did a bit of deep thinking and questioning and whatever not, and I concluded that it is impossible for me to be a scholar. Maybe I was too adamant about my lifelong desire to be a scholar that I didn’t want to accept the fact that I just couldn’t be one. It also had to do with some sincerity issues, which I also figured out, Alhamdulillah. Reading Surah Az-Zumar gave me hope that Allah was still guiding me and helping me. I also realized that I should maybe keep realistic goals instead of flying high all the time. So my new realistic goals are to memorize the Qur’an, learn the translation (hopefully through Dr. Farhat Hashmi’s 2-year program) or through the Bayyinah DREAM Program (if I ever get accepted lol). So I feel much better now. As for my scholar dream, I think I’ll ask Allah to make me one in Jannah 🙂

Another reason why I feel so much better is because after reading Surah Az-Zumar, it made me feel reassured as well as guilty for my little not-so-humble encounter with my dad today. So guilt brings about humility, which brings about goodness and that is what I have been missing out on-goodness.For so many years, like many other youth, I ran after voluntary works and this-and-that but I inadvertently ignored my dad’s warnings that no matter how hard I try to please Allah, it won’t work unless my parents are happy with me. I wanted to listen to him but I don’t know what got in the way. Maybe it was my arrogance, maybe it was heedlessness, but whatever, it was, it’s got to go. If there’s something I learned from the Ramadan Prep program this year, it is that Ramadan is the Month of CHANGE. And I will change. Insha’Allah.

When I was small, I had this Hadith coloring book (which I still possess as a memory btw) and it had an interesting hadith in it: The Prophet (SAW) said, “Whoever’s father is happy with him, Allah is happy with him and whoever’s father is unhappy with him, Allah is unhappy with him.” I also knew from stories and peoples’ lives around me that some of the most successful people were the ones whose parents were happy with them and vice versa, even if the latter were doing a lot of *other* good works because no voluntary deeds beats Allah’s commandment to be kind to your parents. And according to the famous hadith of the 3 that the Prophet (SAW) cursed, I am not going to let myself be one of those who were cursed because of failing to tend to their parents in old age and not taking advantage of Ramadan. I hope Allah helps me in my new endeavors. Well, now I know where I was heading but I am glad that Allah opened my eyes. I mean, He opened them a while ago, but I ‘refused’ to see until now. I am craving, like absolutely craving my parents’ du’as at this point. I hope they will forgive me, so Allah will too.

August 18, 2011 at 10:29 am Leave a comment

The Lailatul-Qadr Mystery

Allah (SWT) says in the Qur’an in Surah Al-Qadr:

Indeed, We sent the Qur’an down during the Night of Decree. (97:1)

And what can make you know what is the Night of Decree? (97:2)

The Night of Decree is better than a thousand months. (97:3)

The angels and the Spirit descend therein by permission of their Lord for every matter. (97:4)

Peace it is until the emergence of dawn. (97:4)

Allah (SWT) has informed us that Lailatul-Qadr is better than a thousand months. Rasulullah (SAW) has told us to seek it in the last ten (odd) nights of Ramadan. Why do we not know the exact date? Well, it’s because Lailatul-Qadr has an interesting story behind it.

When the Prophet (SAW) went out to inform the Sahabah about Lailatul-Qadr, he saw two men arguing due to which he was caused to forget the exact date. Scholars have given various reasons for Allah’s Wisdom of making Rasulullah (SAW) forget the dates. The following are what I have learned some of the reasons (as they may be):

1)      To show Muslims that arguments can result in a lack of privileges (because we now have to work harder to find the ‘exact’ night)

2)      To make Muslims motivated in the last ten nights of Ramadan so they can increasingly ask for forgiveness on all the nights instead of just one, thus earning them more reward

3)      If someone missed the ‘real’ Lailatul-Qadr, then they would despair and sit around without making an effort to still repent and do ‘Ibadah, so when no one knows when it really is, they still have hope to make an effort in the upcoming odd nights

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said: “Whoever stands (in prayer) in Lailatul-Qadr out of Iman (faith and sincerity) and seeking reward then his previous sins are forgiven”. (Bukhari) 

It is recommended to supplicate a lot during this night, it is reported from our mother Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her) that she said: “O Messenger of Allah! What if I knew which night Lailatul-Qadr was, then what should I say in it?” He said. – “Say. – (Allahumma innaka ‘affuwwun tuhibbul ‘afwa fa’fu ‘annee.) “O Allah You are The One Who pardons greatly, and loves to pardon, so pardon me.” (At-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah with a Sahih Isnad) 


August 18, 2011 at 9:57 am Leave a comment

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